The ultimate challenge

first_imgHomeOpinionColumnsThe ultimate challenge Powered By 10 Sec Best Carrot Cake Ever NextStay Best Carrot Cake EverNOW PLAYINGMama’s Deviled EggsNOW PLAYINGHow to Knead DoughNOW PLAYINGHow to Melt and Soften ButterNOW PLAYINGPumpkin Cream Cheese BarsNOW PLAYINGPerfect Bacon Every TimeNOW PLAYINGApple Pie BitesNOW PLAYING5 Easy and Delicious Crock Pot Meatball Appetizer RecipesNOW PLAYINGHow to Clean Stainless Steel SinksNOW PLAYINGOld Fashioned Soft and Buttery Yeast RollsNOW PLAYINGSweet Alabama PecanbreadNOW PLAYINGHow to Cook Scrambled EggsNOW PLAYINGHow to Peel Hard Boiled EggsNOW PLAYINGHow to Clean Garbage DisposalsNOW PLAYINGHow to Use a Meat ThermometerNOW PLAYINGSlow Cooker/Crock Pot HintsNOW PLAYINGHow to Slice & Mince Vegetables Like a ProNOW PLAYINGParmesan Baked Pork ChopsNOW PLAYINGCheesy Baked AsparagusNOW PLAYINGCheesy Bacon Baked Brussels SproutsNOW PLAYINGHow to Skin Carrots, Potatoes and ApplesNOW PLAYINGHow to Shuck, Cook, and Cut CornNOW PLAYINGHow to Peel TomatoesNOW PLAYINGPerfect Pasta Every TimeNOW PLAYINGPecan Pie BallsNOW PLAYING Arrow Left #1 Icon Created with Sketch. Arrow right #1 Icon Created with Sketch. Top Searches Top Searches ScottGaysAdams County Ohio Valley School District PreviousCTC named School of the WeekNextCommissioners hold April 15 meeting, proclaim National Day of Prayer Around the WebThis Video Will Soon Be Banned. Watch Before It’s DeletedSecrets RevealedMd: Do This Immediately if You Have Diabetes (Watch)Blood Sugar BlasterThis Weird Method Can Restore Your Vision Naturally (Watch)Healthier LivingHave an Enlarged Prostate? Urologist Reveals: Do This Immediately (Watch)Healthier LivingIf You Have Ringing Ears Do This Immediately (Ends Tinnitus)Healthier LivingWomen Only: Stretch This Muscle to Stop Bladder Leakage (Watch)Healthier LivingThe content you see here is paid for by the advertiser or content provider whose link you click on, and is recommended to you by Revcontent. As the leading platform for native advertising and content recommendation, Revcontent uses interest based targeting to select content that we think will be of particular interest to you. We encourage you to view your opt out options in Revcontent’s Privacy PolicyWant your content to appear on sites like this?Increase Your Engagement Now!Want to report this publisher’s content as misinformation?Submit a ReportGot it, thanks!Remove Content Link?Please choose a reason below:Fake NewsMisleadingNot InterestedOffensiveRepetitiveSubmitCancel The ultimate challengeApril 27, 2019Mark CarpenterColumns, Opinion0 By Loren Hardin-Ron was 66 years old when he enrolled in our hospice program with end-stage liver cancer. He was a semi-retired healthcare professional, businessman, and financially and professionally successful. Ron was a take-charge person who exuded an air of confidence. He was adventuresome and welcomed challenges. He was a pilot and competitive sportsman. In appearance and personality, he reminded me of Sean Connery, the original “James Bond – Agent 007”. Ron was the stereotypical “man’s man”.As Ron’s condition worsened so did his impatient and critical attitude, especially towards his wife, Jackie. Ron was hospitalized for pain management and one day I discovered Jackie standing in the hallway outside Ron’s room crying, “According to him I can’t do anything right. He’s down right mean to me. He’s never treated me like this before. I know he’s dying but I don’t want to remember him like this.” I obtained Jackie’s permission to confront Ron. I was never so ambivalently direct with a patient before. After all, didn’t he have a right to be frustrated and angry? After all, the poor guy was dying of cancer.I was anxious as I entered Ron’s hospital room. I assured myself I was doing the right thing. I walked up to the side of Ron’s hospital bed and Ron greeted me. Then I took a deep breath and proceeded, “Ron, I’m going to say something to you and I don’t expect an answer or response. As a matter of fact when I’m done I’m just simply going to turn around and walk away.” I continued, “Ron I’ve noticed you are a person who likes a challenge. Well, I’m going to present to you what might be the ultimate challenge. Jackie told me you’ve been criticizing everything she’s done for you, that she can’t do anything right. She doesn’t want to remember your last days together this way. I understand you are really suffering right now, but I’m challenging you to rise above your own feelings and be the husband she still needs for you to be.” Ron listened without saying a word, and then I turned around and walked out of the room. I left the challenge with Ron to contemplate and I had no idea how he would respond.The next day I returned to find Jackie sitting at Ron’s bedside holding his hand. Smiling, she looked up and said, “Thank you. It’s so much better!” Then Ron looked me in the eye, winked, nodded his head and gave me a big “thumbs up”. He didn’t say a word, he didn’t have to. It was apparent he had accepted the challenge. He had determined to become the husband and man that Jackie needed him to be. Now that’s a “man’s man”!Empathy increases understanding and provides direction, but sympathy demoralizes. I’m reminded of a quote by Max Lucado, “God loves you just the way you are, but he refuses to leave you that way. He wants you to be just like Jesus.” I know based upon firsthand experience. God has called me out more than a time or two; especially when I try to make excuses for unholy behavior. You see, God is able and willing to forgive sins honestly confessed but He doesn’t forgive excuses.“Open rebuke is better than secret love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.” (Proverbs 27:5-6)Loren Hardin is a social worker with SOMC-Hospice and can be reached at (740) 357-6091 or at [email protected] You can order Loren’s book, “Straight Paths: Insights for living from those who have finished the course”, at Amazon and Barnes and Noble.last_img

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